Legacy is a very strong word. I have spent most of my life trying to figure things out and determine who I am. My parents married young. My mother was 19 years old when she had me. This made me fiercely independent. When they separated when I was 7, I believed it was up to me to make decisions for my mother, older brother, and me. Growing up in a small rural sports-orientated town in Pennsylvania, I realized that this was not the time or place to express myself. I placed all my efforts into academics to get out of that place without getting into trouble. Luckily, I had a group of studious friends so that I was not entirely an outcast. However, I did not feel like I was being my true self and that I did not belong there.

Moving to Washington, D.C. to go to school was the equivalent of a flower being planted in dirt instead of being left by the side of the road. It allowed me to determine my sexuality. However, coming out when the AIDS epidemic was first beginning, presented its challenges. It made me again feel like I couldn't be my true sexual self for fear of death. It made me for a long-time question what I was doing would result in my downfall. Even though I felt more comfortable in D.C., I felt still felt like it was not my forever place.

I had promised myself by the time that I was 26 that I would backpack around Europe. I spent 4 months going to 12 different countries throughout Europe. Finding a place to stay in a country where you did not understand the language was truly a challenge. Coming back to America, I still did not know where I was going to land. I decided to move to cross country to Los Angeles in hopes of finding my true self. In LA, I met Tim. There are 15 years between us. He is the center to my chaotic firestorm. He is small picture compared to my big picture frame of mind. He is this item needs to be solved now versus me thinking that everything needs to be solved now. We have been together for 34 years this year. The age difference between us has presented challenges as we have been navigating through different phases of our lives. Being strong-willed, my solutions have always been right in my mind.

Tim was transferred to Chicago. I agree to go if I could take six months to finally find myself. We decided that we would live there for 3 to 5 years. Of course, neither of these happened as I had a job with his competitor within a week, and we lived there for 26 Years.