My name is Alexis (He, Him) I was named after my Godfather. In times past, Alexis was exclusively a man's name but years ago the girls slowly started to take it over. The ambiguity of my name is one of the reasons I go by Alexi now.

I grew up a lonely child despite being surrounded by a loving family and many other kids my age on the block. Somehow I just did not fit in. The LGBTQ anthems "Express Yourself" by Madonna, "A Quien Le Importa" by Thalía, or "Pink Pony Club" by Chappell Roan did not exist when I was growing up in New Orleans. As a child, my neighbors were all white. My family was a conservative Catholic family from Central America. A family of Europeans who mixed with the Indigenous peoples of Nicaragua and Honduras. I somehow knew I was different, so I rarely went outside to play with the other kids. Looking back on all the social pressures, cultural differences and racial divides of the day in the mid-to-late 1960s, it was no wonder I kept my focus on school and completing homework assignments. One day in 1967 or 1968, in fourth grade, all of a sudden, Black students were being bussed to our elementary school. That is when I met my very first Black friend who was about my age. Steve and I quickly became best friends. Once we got home from school, Steve and I would talk daily over the family landline phone. The N-word was never uttered in my home thankfully! Plus we spoke Spanish at home anyway. I wonder if the reason Steve and I got along so well was because we both felt like we didn't fit in with the majority of the white kids in our school—even though legally, I was lumped into the white kid category. Or perhaps we were, even at young age, attracted to one another without realizing it? Sadly, we lost touch once we went on to Junior High. I realize now that I was burying myself in my homework as a survival tactic, despite feeling isolated I was incapable of any self-discovery at that age.

In today's world, we all seem to have many more choices. Does one identify as non-binary, asexual, trans female, bisexual, pansexual, polyamorous, demisexual, non-cisgender, intersex, gender fluid, or trans male? Of course, all of the above labels existed 10 years ago, 50 years ago, 100 years ago, but nobody had the freedom to express themselves as such. But let's remember that there are some states and some cities in the United States of America where you will be killed if you identify with some of the above labels—and I mean in today's world of 2026, no matter how liberal or progressive your city or state may be. Too many of us experienced how exhausting it is to live behind a facade, a mask but most of us were never taught how to exist otherwise. Trust was extremely difficult to find back then, perhaps still today under the current administration in D.C. Coming out is wonderful if one can do it safely, with family and with peer support. Quite sadly, too often the opposite happens.

Apparently, I had focused so much on school in junior high and high school, I wound up graduating early, with honors, in the top 10 of my class, at the age of 16 in May 1975 then I started my first college semester that June at LSU, first at the University of New Orleans, then LSU Baton Rouge. I was quite surprised how gigantic these schools were. I learned very quickly how to be discreet. Even though I had no more family around, I found myself leading a secret life, trying to meet other young students on campus for gay fun in between classes. One of the LSU quarterbacks and I started to secretly meet in a classroom that was "never" used. ¡Escándalo! Was it thrilling? YES!! However, regrettably, I could never even think about bragging to anyone my adventures with the team quarterback! Too bad Lady Gaga's "Born This Way" was decades from being played on the radio. How would college kids at fraternity & sorority parties of the 1970s have reacted to such an LGBTQ anthem back then?

Once I graduated college, I received a scholarship to study in France. But even in other countries, I had to hide who I was. When I returned home and started working for a large corporation, I felt I had to continue hiding my true self. For a long time, the corporate world required the same strict discretion I practiced in college. It was not until many years later my company, AT&T and other companies finally allowed LGBTQ employees to officially and openly meet, bringing a long-awaited sense of community to the workplace. I learned that an incredible strength is being our authentic self. Building an inner circle of true allies one can trust, is critical. Tragically our current government in D.C. wants to destroy all the progress made by our LBGTQ Leaders and Allies. Our Senior Legacy Project monthly meetings here at the North San Diego County Resource Center have been a breath of fresh air in this difficult environment. The Senior Legacy Project has been a beautiful gift I will always remember. Here, finally, I feel safe being myself. Thank you! Alexi